Brief Recap (same as earlier e-mail)

Some of you may have already heard that Ted Hoy went into the emergency room at Good Samaritan Hospital on Friday morning due to a variety of symptoms, which culminated in his admission. I won't bore you with the details leading up to that. They are unimportant.  In mid-afternoon, he was transferred to Miami Valley Hospital because he had  "blood on the brain". When I arrived, he was being prepped for surgery. For those of you who like the details, a portion of his skull was removed to remove a large blood clot and the blood. Dr. Montcrief performed the surgery. All went very well.

Saturday, his brain began to swell ( such as a leg or arm swells when it is hit). Due to the limited space in the skull for swelling, a piece of skull was removed yesterday afternoon to allow for the swelling to alleviate brain damage. All went very well.

Ted is very stable, but unconscious. He is expected to regain consciousness sometime today or tomorrow. He is expected to be in the hospital for 3-4 weeks. After that, he will be wearing a "helmet" to protect the area of his skull which is covered only by skin for 6-8 weeks. When the swelling subsides, the portion of the skull that was removed will be replaced and the helmet will come off.

Because this affected the entire left side of his brain, he is expected to have limited speaking ability when he gains consciousness, but that is expected to return with practice. Ted likes to talk so he will probably progress quickly!

That is the quick and dirty. Yes.... this is serious stuff.  Yes..... the entire family is stressed and scared.

    Although I have shared this information with only a limited number of close family and closest of friends, the word spreads. Over the last few days, I have spent most of my time answering questions of doctors and nurses and answering telephone calls from concerned family and friends, and I tried to keep this a secret. Ted is a very private person, but the word gets out because people care. I can no longer physically or emotionally rehearse the story or events or answer the questions of concerned friends and family. YES..... I appreciate your concerns and caring thoughts so much.... You have no idea how much I appreciate your care and love. BUT, I can no longer spend my time answer questions and going over the story. As my father informed my mother years ago, work, children, spouse - in that order. Work pays the bills. Children must get priority over spouse. Well.... right now, it may be spouse, children, work,,,,, but the work must get done.

    Here is a quick summary of where we are right now.

    1. Ted is intensive care where he is expected to be for some time. No visitors are allowed except for me and the kids. No flowers, no food, no anything.

    2. When Ted is moved to a regular patient room, I will notify this list and let you know. When he is allowed visitors and is alert and thinking again, he will welcome your visits and will be willing to talk politics, economics, history, and/sports. For those of you who want to know where he is mentally. Before his admission to GSH, he was concerned about the Herman Cain allegation ( he likes Herman Cain), he is still a Newt Gingrich fan, he is overly concerned about the American economy, he was excited about the appointment of Urban Meyer as the OSU football coach, he was joking about Ohio State and Florida possibly playing each other in the Gator Bowl, and he was excited about Ohio State's big basketball win over Duke. And, he still really likes pumpkin pie.... he has not overdosed on it yet...Ted was planning on retiring from Morgan Stanley on December 31 and was planning on teaching full-time at Sinclair Community College. He was still taking Christine to Cincinnati for lessons with Joel Suggs on a regular basis and was still playing bridge weekly with John Meinking.

    3. I am dealing with an environment beyond my comfort level. I have had to make life-changing decisions over the last 48 hours, which I never expected to have to make. I have willingly agreed with many recommendations from the medical staff. I have refused other recommendations from the medical staff, which have proved to be correct at this time. I am truly trying to listen to our One God as to what I should be doing. Your prayerful support that I continue to be tuned in to God when He is speaking to me would be much appreciated.

    4. Thomas and Christine are very rattled about the "picture" of their father that they have seen. He is obviously hooked up to a lot of machinery. But, to be honest, he really looks good right now - much better than right before he was admitted. Thomas and Christine are having trouble dealing with all of this. Your kind emails would be helpful to them. 

   5. David is at Ohio State. His final exams begin on Monday. David and I decided that it was best for him to stay in Columbus, continue his duties at the Ohio State Swimming Invitational and to continue studying for his exams. He feels very isolated right now and in his words,  he needs hugs. 

    7 . I have had very little sleep over the last couple of days. When I do get some sleep, it is usually interrupted by a call from the hospital. But, I am happy that almost all of those calls have been positive updates, for which I am extremely grateful. But, if I get testy with you, please write it off as Anne needs to get a nap.

    8. For those of you who are part of that American culture where you believe that you need to do something to help, PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT CALL. If you are impelled to do something, here are your options - you may choose any of them,,,, but please do not call ---- I am in overload.

        (1)   Your prayers in support of Ted, me, the children are much appreciated. When in doubt, say a prayer for any or all of us.  

       (2)   If praying is not enough, please do not send flowers, your money can be used in any of the following ways:

Ted was getting ready to make a  $500 gift to the Stivers Swim Team, which needs to raise money for its pool rental. That was a huge step for Ted. You know how he is with money! Any gift to the Stivers Swim Team would be appreciated. I have been raising funds for them for several months. Gifts should be made payable to the Stivers Athletic Dept. earmarked for swim team.

The Stivers Jazz Band still needs to complete their fundraising for their trip to the New York City Jazz Festival in March. Neither Ted nor I could make the parent meeting this week where the fundraising was discussed. Any gifts to the Seedling Foundation earmarked for the jazz band would be appreciated. Neither Ted nor I will be able to participate in any future fundraising this year.

The Miami Valley Golf Club Swim Team ( Makos) is a big part of our summer life and our extended family. The team is self - funded  Ted has been in charge of getting sponsorships the last two years, and may not be able to do that this winter and spring for the upcoming summer season. Ted tooks this task over from Scott Rutherford, who had done it for at least three years. Any gifts to the Makos swim team to help with that issue can be made to

Miami Valley Makos Swim Team, care of Scott Rutherford, Code Credit Union, Dayton.

Our firm has a court runner, Anthony Derrick, who has been driving Ted around  last week when Ted was unable to drive, and poor Anthony has had to listen to Ted pontificate on politics and the economy. Anthony is a single father with two young girls. Anthony has been looking for churches to sponsor a family for Christmas. He has been unsuccessful. He works only part-time for our firm, and has helped our family with doing odd jobs over the last couple of months. He would like to "give his girls a Christmas".  If you are looking to get into the Christmas spirit by helping a family, send any donations to the Myers & Frayne Trust account. We will take it from there.

My faith in God and my increased understanding of His love for all of us has been my rock during the past couple of days and prior to that. Donations to my church, Second Church of Christ, Scientist, Dayton, Ohio or to The Mother Church in Boston, Massachusetts are always appreciated.

Having said all of the above, we appreciate your continuing friendship. We are not expecting anything from our friends or family except that you continue to be our friends and that you have a very merry Christmas. There may be no family Christmas card this year, or if there is one, Ted may be in a white turban. He would not be pleased!

THANK YOU from my heart for your being a part of our lives. But, please do not call and ask questions. Updates will be made to this blog.